the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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