So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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