Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
