I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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