u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
