Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
