just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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