We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
