You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
