xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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