all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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