Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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