worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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