Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize