i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
