WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
