She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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