I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
