Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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