Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
