Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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