i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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