you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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