Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
