I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
