the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just pee around me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
