So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
