C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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