the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
