got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
