did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
