I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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