And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
