Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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