careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When are your genitals available?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
