I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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