I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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