Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
