Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
