He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize