Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
