I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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