Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
