He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
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For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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