Christians are straight up FREAKS
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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