census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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