Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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