How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
