I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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