If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
