Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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