I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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