I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
