the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
