i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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