Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize