IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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