Nicole vs. Life
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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