yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
