My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
