I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
