yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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