i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
