What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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